I've been reading messages on the 3 leading forums to do with ADR and have had a few private messages (tend to be libellous stuff which they wouldn't risk putting up on the forums) from individuals telling me of disasters- people who have spent their entire savings, others who have been driven to re-mortgage their houses- to pay for surgery and revision surgery. It's all a little depressing and I am rapidly reassessing my options and have this over-riding thought "Is the risk of failure of going under the knife not simply too great to conclude that it would be in any real sense worth-it?" People are telling me of individuals who have gone to Germany and bitterly regret the decision- not only are they now broke but their backs are in a much worse condition now than before! They live in constant pain, are barely able to move from their beds and some have contemplated suicide. All very disturbing.

Others have urged me to look very carefully at the issue of facets- the boney, spiny, antlers- two of which are attached to each vertebrae and moderate the twisting motion of the spine (they cleverly, gently resist you twisting too much). The evidence is clear that these facets, and most particularly their pre-op state hold a major key to the chances of post-op success. Seems that narrowing of the height of discs (my problem) will have over the years have almost certainly led to a deterioration in associated facets. Much pre- and post-op back-pain can be blamed on facets.

Another area of concern lies in patients reporting that the mere fact of surgery triggered over subsequent weeks, months and years other types of pain and at different sites (often in their legs) which was sometimes much worse (if that were possible) than the original back-pain!

Sorry for all this negativity but that's how I feel this morning.

I am comforted by just one thought. I am not lying on the floor in agony needing pain-killers and a decision about surgery- I am grateful for this as it allows me time to consider whether I should simply do nothing. Sounds easy- doesn't it? But then the questions keep coming. If I delay ADR surgery, I have been advised that I may be considered too old at say 65 for this operation. It is possible that my back will deteriorate beyond the point at which ADR is an option. Thus I may miss the only chance of restoring my back so that I may play golf again.

I am off to the GP this afternoon to ask if is possible for her to "prescribe" on the NHS an X-Ray bone density scan which is a requirement of the German clinic who would not proceed if the reading showed I have crumbly bones. Possibly she will say that this test (as opposed to the more usual quick ultrasound test used in the UK NHS not acceptable to the Germans) would have to be ordered through an NHS consultant in which case I would need to get the test done privately.